Someone you met online who needs money

How it starts

The FTC's guide to romance scams says these begin on dating sites and apps, or with a message on social media such as Instagram or Facebook. In its 2023 data spotlight on romance scammers' favorite lies, 40 percent of people who lost money to a romance scam in 2022 said it started on social media, and 19 percent said it started on a website or app. Some begin with a text that seems to be a wrong number; the FTC says these "wrong number" chats often take a romantic turn that can lead to investment and other scams.

The person writes often, remembers everything, and is easy to talk to. That's the work: the FTC says scammers build trust, sometimes chatting several times a day, before money ever comes up. People who've been through it are not foolish. They were dealing with someone whose job was to be the perfect correspondent.

The stories

The FTC's data spotlight counted the lies in 2022 reports from people who lost money. The ones that came up most: the person, or someone close to them, is sick, hurt or in jail; they can teach you how to invest; they're in the military far away; or they need help with an important delivery. In the FTC's words, claiming to be on a faraway military base is "the most popular excuse" for not meeting, and an offshore oil rig worker is another common one. The FTC's romance guide adds other reasons they can't meet, such as working with an international organization, and the money requests that follow: medical bills, a plane ticket to visit you, a visa, fees to get out of trouble.

Signs the FTC points to

• They want to move the conversation off the dating site or app. In 2022 reports, many people told the FTC the scammer quickly moved to WhatsApp, Google Chat or Telegram.
• They say it's true love, and they live far away.
• They say they can't meet you in person.
• They ask for money, or offer to help you invest, especially in cryptocurrency.
• They ask to be paid by wire, gift card, payment app or cryptocurrency.

What the numbers show

In the FBI's 2025 IC3 Annual Report, people aged 60 and over filed 10,188 complaints in its "confidence/romance" category and reported $584 million in losses. These count only complaints filed with the FBI, and only those where the person gave an age, which the FBI's form doesn't require. That category covers every scheme in which someone believes they're in a relationship, "family, friendly, or romantic," so it includes grandparent scams too.

How to check

1. Search with their photo. The FTC suggests a reverse image search of the profile picture. In Google you can search with an image instead of words: on google.com, click "Search by image" in the search box. If the photo appears under another name, or on a stock photo site, that tells you a lot. If the search finds nothing, that doesn't prove they're real: the FBI has warned that scammers create videos to "prove" an online contact is a "real person."
2. Search their story. Search the job or the situation they describe along with the word "scammer." The FTC suggests checking whether other people have posted similar stories.
3. Talk to a friend or family member about the relationship, and take it seriously if they're worried. The FTC suggests this too. It isn't easy, and it helps.
4. Hold to the FTC's bottom line: "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven’t met in person."
5. If you think it's a scam, stop writing back. The FTC's advice: "Stop communicating with the person immediately."

If you've sent money

Stop sending more, even if they promise it's the last time or that they'll pay you back. If you sent a wire or a transfer from your bank, call your bank right away: the FBI's advice is to "request a recall of the funds". If you paid by card, call the number on the back of your card. For a wire, gift card, payment app or cryptocurrency, contact that company right away and ask for a refund. Cryptocurrency payments typically are not reversible, the FTC says, but it's still worth asking. Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and at ic3.gov (the FBI says "Regardless of the amount lost, file a complaint at www.ic3.gov."), and tell the dating site or social network where you met. If someone later offers to recover your money, whether they ask for a fee or for your personal or financial details, read investment and crypto scams first: "recovery" offers are a pattern of their own, and the FTC says "Anyone who asks for your personal or financial information or for upfront fees is a scammer." Our "if you clicked or paid" page has the full steps.

Related patterns

• Investment offers, crypto and “guaranteed” returnsA friendly expert, a platform that shows big gains, and no way out.
• Anyone asking you to pay with gift cardsBuy cards, scratch the back, read the numbers.
• Calls from a grandchild or relative in troubleA loved one in a crisis, a stranger with authority, and a secret.